Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I
And let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?
My tender heart tends to start to bleed

And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know, I know exactly what they need

And even in your case
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead and yes, indeed

You will be
You're gonna be popular
I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce

I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts to be popular
I'll help you be popular

You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know

So let's start
Cause you've got an awfully long way to go

Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a sister and adviser
There's nobody wiser

Not when it comes to
I know about popular
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who you were

Well are

There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popular

La la, la la
We're gonna make you popular

When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of

Celebrated heads of state
Or specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh

They were popular


It's all about popular
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very, very popular
Like me

Miss Elphaba
Look at you
You're beautiful

I have to go

You're welcome

And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely

You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity

La la la la
You'll be popular
Just not quite as popular as me

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